The Side Effects of Vegetables In Your Diet

"I don't eat vegetables because they make me gassy."

Is something I would never say. I figure just embrace it. I hear a multitude of excuses for people not eating vegetables. "I don't like them." "I don't know how to cook them." My husband only eats meat and potatoes." Any sound familiar?

Pish-posh. The following is a list honoring the "terrible" side effects vegetables may have on you.

Celery- Nature's answer to flossing- 
Permanently Embedded In Your Teeth! 

Corn- Installs "The Golden Grill" 
...whether you want it or not

Do I have something in my teeth?- Jim Carrey (Ace Ventura)

Carrots- The Car Horn
Noise polluting those around you saying, "Yea, I'm eating healthy and each chomp will let you know it."

Asparagus- Mr. Sticky P
no need for more explanation

Garlic- Vampire (Killer) Breathe
** side-note** Be sure significant other or group also has garlic with you so it is a level playing field

Onion- Nature's Visine
"Gosh darn, Sinclair allergies"

Cauliflower- Cutting The Cauliflower
It may be good for you, but it is sure bad for me!

Spinach- Swollen Arm Attack
I don't want giant bulges on my arms like Popeye....

Nowhere on the list was heart disease, stroke, hypertension, diabetes, or cardiac arrest! (You know, A heart attack!)

When you first start eating vegetables your body will need some time to adjust. You may be stinky, gassy, and/or a frequent visitor to the porcelain throne, but at least you are on the right track toward health. An added bonus is anyone that sticks with you through the bad breathe, crying, and embedded food in your teeth must truly be a great friend.

What other "side effects" have you got for us?
Post them in the comments section!

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